cAPITAL lETTERS!

It's been a long couple of months.  The weather has turned a lot colder and we are beginning to wonder if we should have brought a snow shovel.  Last night I was up sick at 3am and it was rough.  All day a turning stomach, headache and just the "run over by a train" feeling.  The show must go on though.  Many questions but few answers, time will tell.  There is still that strange part of me that believes I should be at home working.  When you arrive somewhere you thought you wanted to be, it seems odd that there is always a little voice telling you maybe you should be at home, maybe you should be more responsible, is it just home sickness or is it fear of the unknown.

That's what's so weird about following a dream like this.  If you listen to the little voices you will always find a reason why not to do something.  You will always justify failure or lack of motivation or an abundance of fear.  Then there's the other little voice that says you have conquered much bigger things than this, you have overcome bigger obstacles and you have always persevered in the end, not truly knowing what motivated you to completion in the end.  Was it spite, was it stupidity, was it pride or was it sheer determination.

We are told constantly how exciting and fortunate we are to be in such a position of choices and options.  Those are the comments that reinforce the feeling I really am crazy.  I could be sitting at home in front of the big screen TV accomplishing nothing other than consumption of large quantities of junk "couch potato" food and filling my intellect with brain junk food from the LED screen calling my name each time I come in the door and kicking off my shoes.  I know it's not healthy but the wrong part of my brain tells me I deserve it, relax it's been a long day or night.  TV and the like has sure corrupted the human psyche into believing it deserves to be a part of daily life. Why is that?

"STUFF" is the other corruption of the human mind.  We deserve that new car and we need that new motorcycle and big TV and cruise and fishing trip and new sled and.....and.....and....  We were there once,with the new custom built home, fancy truck blah blah blah, all surrounded by status.  One day we realized, hey!, that's not whats important.  Family,  your kids and little things.  We won't be around forever.  One day your 20, the next your in your 40's and no matter how you explain this to your own kids, they can't wrap their brains around it.  Neither could we when we were that age.  We thought we would live forever, were invincible and we would never get old.

Follow your dreams, don't be afraid to act like a child with your child even without your child, play outside, shut off the TV, enjoy your life, your friends, your kids or your favorite hobby.  Life is far to short to spend it acquiring things you can't afford to impress people you don't even like.  Learn what benevolence is or what humility is.  Turn off family guy or the simpsons and no I didn't capitalize either of those, they aren't important enough in life at all to warrant capitals, I've never even watched them.  Did you ever notice an iphone corrects words like walmart or iphone and inserts a capital "W" or capital "I" but doesn't capitalize God, seriously?  Even my spellcheck while I'm blogging is capitalizing them as I type.  That's messed up steve jobs, if God doesn't deserve a capital you sure as hell don't!

Don't let the world or "they" dictate what should be important or what should have a capital, decide for yourself.  In the end, we make the difference, we can change the world.  One letter at a time.

     

Is There Life?

I haven't been blogging in here as I spend most of the time on the website.  I have a lot to say but don't have the energy to say it.  Same ol same ol............running around all the time or working on the boat.  At the end of the day it's off to the communal parking lot shower, walk down to the slip, have dinner, work on the computer, maybe watch a movie then crash.  Up again, rinse, repeat.  Seriously, what in the world caused this lack of common sense to tackle such a venture.  I could rant today about money but that's a rant for another day.  I dunno, I dunno, I dunno is all I can come up with, it's like my brain is in a perpetual state of denial or disbelief.  Give me strength? give me sanity? give me anything to maintain and/or acquire some sort of logic from all this.  I dunno, I dunno!